The Donut & Dog Refuses To Recognize National Hot Dog Day As Tensions Grow Between Wienery, Public

NASHVILLE, TN -- It's been said that the universe has been expanding since the Big Bang - an event liberals invented to rationalize their hatred of Israel (a story for another time). Expanding from what? A giant mass that existed outside the bounds of time and space. I say if that's the case, the universe is not expanding - it is ripping itself apart. We exist in a void riddled with chaos, much of which we cannot even comprehend. Almighty God's wrath is forced upon us artfully - so continuously that we often don't perceive it. The wrath itself is all the unknowns in this merciless universe. What could end us? Many things. Where most see doom in the face of the unfathomable, I see enormous room for profit. People are dying for a distraction from the abuses the unknown blows down on them day after fleeting day. Just accept it, and learn to sell to those that cannot.

And this past Nathan Bedford Forrest Day I realized something: nothing gets people more in the mood to indulge in consumption than a holiday (I realized this as I fraternized with Governor Bill Lee this weekend in observance of the holiday). As luck would have it, today, July 17th, is National Hot Dog Day. If you've been paying any attention to what you've been reading at all, you would now understand this as an incredible opportunity to cash in on the absolute saddest of all human desires - the desire to fill themselves with pig body leftovers to have even a moment's distraction from the harsh realities of the day. Well, guess who was too busy being Communists to figure this out? Yep, the Donut & Dog (among others).

It comes just once a year

This development comes as tensions are already growing between the Donut & Dog and Nashville's thriving wiener scene. They have blocked prominent conservative Nashville hot dog news organizations on social media and have made no public statements regarding the biggest holiday in this line of commerce. It is not a surprise, but it does sting of course. This town used to be great. Kerry Collins was the Titans QB. We had not known the horrors of a sex scandal that rocked the city to brink of collapse. "Soccer" was not celebrated. The good times. And now? There is almost no way forward for this city that does not end in immense grief and decrease in quality of life. People no longer recognize great Nashville holidays like Nathan "KKK" Forrest Day or National Hot Dog Day because Communist Mayor Briley has distracted them with electric scooters that he designed and implemented himself.

The Donut & Dog certainly seems to be in favor of the Communist Briley agenda, as they refuse yet again to honor National Hot Dog Day. The only wienery in Nashville recognizing the holiday is Daddy's Dogs. They are doing $5 hot dogs at their locations in the Nations and in Printers Alley. HBDB has not consumed a Daddy's Dog, but we are assured by Daddy's actions that he is a solid Republican force. We will keep that in mind when we review them in the near future. In this grotesque and absurd universe, it is important to get your rocks off while you're briefly, shamefully alive. And NOTHING gets the goods going like profit. It's only a matter of time before all matter starts collapsing on itself. No God can stop it. The force is greater than Him. Indulge. Consume. Profit.

A dignified man

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