INTERVIEW: Cooper Responds to Hot Blog Dog Blog, Has Eaten Dogs

NASHVILLE, TN -- What is life, if not a series of self-inflicted injustices? Each fleeting day yields new regrets, providing us matter-of-factly with whatever horrible present we find ourselves in. To say it is a gift would be disingenuous and, frankly, wrong. How much of our precious time is pissed away, second to worthless second spent accounting for our past mistakes, occupying time we could be using to amass fortune and power? Today, Hot Blog Dog Blog must bite the bullet and turn away, momentarily, from our own journey of hoarding wealth and playing God with the poor to focus on correcting the record.

In correspondence with Hot Blog Dog Blog: Nashville's Leading Choice for Truth and Honesty in Conservative Hot Dog Journalism, LLC., Councilman John Cooper, front-running candidate for mayor of Nashville, confirmed he has eaten dogs. When asked, the candidate boasted, "Yes I do [eat them]," noting that he "[doesn't] have a preference" for the way they are prepared - a stunning revelation from the neo-Marxist Antifa Supersoldier.

In this undated photo, Mayor David Briley sleeps through Make-A-Wish Foundation event.  

Finally, Cooper has opened up to HBDB and cleared the air once and for all, confirming he does grill on his own. However, any step he took towards redemption was soon negated when he contradicted himself later on in the interview. "Tough question," he admitted when asked about his favorite wienery in the Nashville. "I want to represent a Nashville for everyone, so I want to insure I'm inclusive and support all of the local eateries." A good-enough response, one would assume, until questioned about hot dog rights. Cooper quipped he'd "love to hear more about the rights hot dogs are wanting." How can someone with this attitude towards the hot dogging community serve us as mayor?

It was a pattern in our back and forth with Cooper. He was outright dismissive of those of us who prefer the pink meat pudding sloshed around and sacked treat we call "Hot Dogs" upon first reaching out in response to our last article, claiming our requests for comment "must have been overlooked with the several hundred emails about teacher pay, immigration rights, and neighborhood infrastructure." (Editor's Note: We are choosing to believe the claim John Cooper has gotten "several hundred" of these emails). Such dismissal is unbecoming of the often degraded, but highly coveted, office of the Mayor of Nashville.

In this undated  photo, a primate sends John Cooper a few hundred emails about teacher pay, immigrant rights, and neighborhood infrastructure.

But alas, we are here paying for our past anyway. This is what accountability looks like, Liberal Governor Bill Lee - true RINO if there ever was one! Ronald Reagan probably said, "Failure is the first step towards success," after one of his strong comebacks from one of his many failures. And we take the Word of Reagan quite seriously around here in Nashville. That is why Hot Blog Dog Blog is setting the record straight about John Cooper: He eats dogs. Now let us cease to look into the past, and return to our quest for immense power and unlimited influence.

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