INTERVIEW: Cade Cothren Breaks Silence, "Can Literally Smoke Anything"

NASHVILLE, TN -- "Sunshine, grilling, family and friends... it's hard to beat," former Speaker of the House Glen Casada's Chief of Staff, Cade Cothren, recently shared with Hot Blog Dog Blog: Nashville's Most Dependable and Noble Source of Conservative Hot Dog News. In the heat of this despicable moment we find ourselves in, it is all too easy to retreat into our own heads, blocking out any horrid realities that might be unbecoming of a Nashvillian  that aspires to be "chill" or "woke". Our children - a futureless generation - know nothing of the real world. If you are a child reading this, do yourself a favor and wake the hell up. Get to work now and get ahead of your peers. It is plain to the cautious observer: we are doomed.

Cade Cothren knows this, and that is why his noble plays to get ahead in the real world, such as engaging in the sacred act of Procreation at Party Fowl, doing cocaine at work for the sole purpose of out-working his opponents, and framing a black activist over the same thinly-veiled feelings of inferiority and self loathing we all feel, were all the actions of a guy who knows the Pursuit of Happiness is the Pursuit of Untapped Power, Baby! No, he should not have used the N-word, and he certainly should not have referred to black people as "idiots", but he did. Don't we all make mistakes?

Cade Cothren talking education

Cothren told HBDB, "Once you betray your beliefs that first time, it gets a lot easier the second, tenth, hundredth time." It is refreshing that he confesses to using the N-word up to one hundred times. Most other racists would probably shy away from outright admitting it. When asked if he had regrets, he admits "of course."

But we were here to talk about our shared love of hot dogs and interest in the local craft dog scene. Enthusiastically, Cothren, who is accused of doctoring emails to falsify evidence that would potentially put a political opponent in jail, told us when he grills, it's "always brats, always grilled!" He's even been experimenting with different methods. "I was a skeptic at first," he explains. "But I have a Big Green Egg and love it." The endorsement of this product by anyone that is inspired to bring life into this world during a moment of clarity at Party Fowl is undoubtedly valuable. A big plus of the Big Green Egg is that it allows Cothren to "literally smoke anything," a clear deal-maker for the man.

Endorsed by Cade Cothren, this is the Big Green Egg

Cade got sentimental with Hot Blog Dog Blog, telling us, "One of my favorite things to do during the summer is take a pontoon out on the lake. We always have a grill and throw things on throughout the day." That's likely where he saw some of the women he and Casada texted about, Casada then noting of his sex life, "if I'm happy, then all is good!"

With an eye on the future, Cothren, who, according to texts, "did fuck [a person] in the bathroom at Party Fowl," lamented, "there's a long road ahead and my first priority is damaged relationships." And he vows to continue to fight the Good Conservative Fight, and we welcome it. "Government and politics are my passion and I hope to stay involved." The boyish naivety of someone who used a racial epithet among a list of other racist musings is exactly the kind of character trait we need to be attracting in the Tennessee Party of Reagan. Cade Cothren is back whether you like it or not. This will make the David Brileys of the world cry their sad liberal tears. And I, a self loathing moron, will eat it up for some reason. The brutality of life forces us to compete. It is the beauty of Capitalism. Try and go get laid at Party Fowl. Tell the boys. This is the meaning of life.

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