REPORT: Beloved Nashville Hot Doggery The Hop Stop to Close

Absence is the only form of purity. Your life is your life's greatest flaw. Each and every human is flawed, some more than others, some way more than others. But know this - we are given a certain purity by having an abstract, undetectable presence in the universe that, once solidified and given life, is tarnished and degraded by our mere existence. Without life, without the human race, without anything related to tangible, observable existence, all that is left is purity. Purity is soiled by human action again and again, so often it has become commonplace and is generally accepted, or worse, completely disregarded and forgotten. To disappear completely from reality is to be completely accepted, even though it is but another blemish on the face of life in general. Again, I say, absence is the only form of purity.

It is with this fact in mind, perhaps, that the Hop Stop in East Nashville has decided to shut its doors to society, with its last day being this Wednesday, November 15, 2017. A return to purity, you might say, is upon the mind of Jesse Hamilton, owner of the establishment. Maybe we didn't deserve the Hop Stop, whose Chicago dog quelled my fears of this year's solar eclipse, and reestablished my faith in the crushing void of eternity. Onward they shall go, no longer serving the greater Nashville area with their carrot dogs, extensive beer menu, and delectable wieners fit for a king, or perhaps Iran-Contra patsy. 

In the name of commerce and capitalism, Hamilton sold the establishment to two new venture capitalists who promise nothing but a swift, unstoppable force of consumer delight with new foods with which we may all become the fat, loathe-able, insecure monsters we have all striven to become since our forefathers came on this land and decimated population after population of noble people all for the sake of making a quick buck, or perhaps the promise that we all (excluding certain lesser demographics of non-voters, low income voters, and women) may take part in God's gift of sadomasochistic capitalism. If we cannot make ourselves profitable, what purpose on this earth do we serve? And what can be taken from this meaninglessness and absurdity? I'll tell you: This life guarantees nothing to no one and we get nothing in return for anything that we do with our insignificant time on the planet. There is nothing before and nothing after us. When we die, all might as well die. So I say be ruthless! Be greedy! Crush the weak and make them submit to your fury in the name of profit! For we are all a disgrace and an insult to purity itself. To return to purity, we must be stopped, and that is not happening any time soon, so let purity be pissed on by corporate interests and mundane human life. It is what God wants. May the Hop Stop's soul return to purity, and may we all rot on Earth.