Rep. Bruce Griffey Takes A Break From Praising Nathan Bedford Forrest to Talk Hot Dogs, His Secret Sauce, & Why It's Trans Children's Time In The Barrel

NASHVILLE, TN -- Darkness has fallen. There are no stars. We are alone. Grief, as we have all seen, is in the air. And I am not speaking of the coronavirus hoax. With the persistent violence pummeling us day in and day out, our godless city is simply at our wits end. And no, this is also not about the Antifa terrorists proclaiming Bernie Sanders president. There is something of much greater importance that is slipping through our hands: transgender children playing sports. Thankfully, we have representation in Tennessee that understands this.

Upon reconvening for the first time since the Communist Disease closed down our hard working nation, the Republican State Legislature had a work of art introduced to it: HB-1572, better known as the GAP Act (Girls Athletic Protection Act) - which "seeks to require school athletes in Tennessee to compete based upon their biological gender at birth as opposed to the gender with which they currently identify." Its author and filer, State Representative Bruce Griffey (R-Paris, District 75) also happens to be an avid Grill Master - a not so well kept secret on the hill. When Hot Blog Dog Blog: Nashville's Most Trusted Conservative Hot Dog Blog asked him to talk grilling and dogging, he asked no questions - and the discussion turned disturbing rather quickly.

Griffey is unassuming enough, it would seem. Charming, charismatic, and has the Classic Republican View that it's transgender children's time in the barrel. "A thick cut ribeye steak is my favorite item to grill," he confesses. "Basted in a special sauce of butter, Worcestershire, and soy." He would later confess to HBDB that "since I'm in Nashville during the week, I don't get to grill as much as I would like." It is the sad reality of the life of a Republican Politician - lonely nights away from home do not afford them ample time to cook meats. Tragedy eludes none of us.

The very work that keeps Rep. Griffey from his wife, children, & grill

"I love purchasing full salmons," the representative boasted, before describing a commercial freezer he purchased at a liquidation auction in Georgia years ago. "I also love smoking," he added. But we were here to get down to brass tax - what about hot dogs and the sanctity of girls' sports? The answers were certainly a mixed bag. The representative holds a particularly disgusting view that we are hesitant to print. There is hate in the world, famine, plague, war... but what the representative told us next, if it is indeed what he truly believes, is horrifying. HBDB asked Griffey if he preferred hot dogs or hamburgers.

 "Definitely hamburgers," the state representative, who is accused by some Liberal Socialists of being obsessed with children's genitals (regarding sports), confessed. We know Representative Griffey, who just weeks ago blocked a motion to remove a bust of Ku Klux Klan founder Nathan Bedford Forrest, is a good man, and began scrambling to give him every opportunity to prove this. Surely he could lament Antifa Icon John Cooper's hardened grip on the city, or unleash the hounds on a majorly at risk group of children.

Finally, he changed his tune. "With House Speaker Pelosi pushing through passage in the U.S. House of Representatives HR 5 - the Equality Act - that among other things, creates a civil right for male athletes to self-identify as females in sports competitions, I believe it is important for states to take a stand," the representative, evoking America's Golden Age - when the C.S.A. were providing us a heritage we could all be proud of. He just needed to finish the job.

It is a Great American Tradition to mock women's sports and berate the athletes, but we Conservative Christians have been looking for a new hill to die on, so we are going to forget about that for a moment and pretend as if the sanctity of women's sports is something we have long been concerned about. "Each elementary and secondary school in this state," Griffey stated, eyes gleaming, would require "that each athlete participates based on the athlete's biological sex." Finally, someone is sticking up to the transgender children. The man's only flaw is his inability to accept hot dogs. 

She gets it!!