REPORT: The Dog of Nashville to Become The Donut & Dog

Another legendary Nashville hot doggery has disappeared into the void of eternity. The Dog of Nashville, which opened in 2007, has shut its doors and changed owners. It has been said before on this webpage that absence is the only form of purity. Total absence leaves no reputation to distort. By leaving us, these hot dog restaurants are solidifying their place in history. We are here for a fleeting second. Life itself is fickle. We all perish. But do we get to decide what we leave behind? We are lucky if it is anything at all, even if all we leave behind is infamy and a stain of degradation upon the very Earth we so willingly destroy with commerce and ignorance. What does the Dog of Nashville truly leave behind?



It would be all too easy to recount the good times, or the reliability of their wieners. We could go on and on about this or that, believing that we knew everything and always had. We won't, though, because we know the hell with which nostalgia scorns us. Your memories are distorted by memories of memory, diluted slowly over time until your idea of what you knew is so warped that it doesn't present anything even close to reality. Yet you long for that misremembered serenity, a solitude that does not, and never did, exist. Intellectually, we all know this to be true, but we refuse to process it, to confront it in any sort of real way. We turn our thoughts to distractions, projections of ourselves for others to judge us by, but that we all know deep within ourselves to be a lamentable farce. We know not what we really had in the Dog of Nashville, nor will we. We will forget the truth, remembering only the "truth" we create for ourselves, backing ourselves into a corner we create for our comfort and blissful ignorance.



What comes next is anyone's guess. The future is not something to try and predict, to mess with. Whatever happens happens, and the Donut & Dog will have something to live up to, though we will never know exactly what. Comparisons are cheap, and many will be poorly thought out and pedantic. All we can say is what we know: they will serve donuts and hot dogs at the new establishment. The remodel will leave our brains rattled, and our memories will crumble. There is no end. Nothing to consult when trying to place the past. And, therefore, there is no context in this world. We have no understanding of anything. Do not fool yourself.



For all we know, the Donut & Dog will propel to the highest ranks of hot doggeries in Nashville. Perhaps it will even become the best. But where do their morals lie? What agenda do they have in this scene? Outsiders are known to infiltrate the fabric of our humble culture for the sole purpose of terrorizing us with new ideas, different experiences, and, God forbid, diversity. It is nerve racking to let your mind wander on what could be, but, again, there is no solace in predicting the future. You can only live it, but we at Hot Blog Dog Blog did try and get some hint of the future this past week, inquiring to the new ownership on what is going to happen. We learned the hard way that what we suspected was right - whatever is inevitable is unavoidable and shrouded in secrecy by the abundantly mysterious universe.

Upon our request for information about the new establishment, the new owners seemed excited at the prospect of being featured on HBDB, as we are the leading voice in the hot dog community. They were eager to speak to us about the process of the renovations to building they were making, and to discuss whatever changes they will make to the old menu. But something troubling developed as I ran down my list of questions. When I inquired about how they would honor the legacy of President Ronald Reagan, they got a little cold. No answers. Interesting. I could see how in our current political climate they might be nervous of being too gung-ho about President Reagan, considering how they would alienate their mostly liberal customer base (they are situated very close to Vanderbilt University, an institution of leftist brain-washing). I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, however, and continued my inquiry, but their resistance to trash the left only persisted. I decided to serve them a lob ball question to clear the air. What happened next was troubling.



My question was one that I ask every new person I meet, just to make sure I can trust them. You know by now that I asked why the Democrats did not stop Watergate. The answer is easy: "They were, and are, corrupt." But this question was dodged by the Donut & Dog, and I quickly concluded the interview.



The Dog of Nashville is dead. The carcass is being dragged through the streets by barbarians. The future is bleak. It has always been bleak. We all get closer to our deaths, and perhaps this change of hands in the ownership of a once beloved hot doggery is a mere distraction. But we know one thing. This new establishment is anti-Reagan, and, therefore, anti-capitalism. Is this what we want in our city? Can Nashville survive another communist coup? I know our roots of do-anything-to-get-money-even-if-it's-unethical form of commerce here run deep, and I have always felt great comfort knowing that. But now? Now I am not so sure. Look at the world we live in now. We are being phased out by young Marxists who know nothing about anything, despite us having created a world which affords them zero opportunities and serving up socialism to them on a silver platter, but that's not our fault. I digress. I worry about the Donut & Dog and what it will do to our beloved city. I am not optimistic, but optimism is poison.